Oh That Damnable Recession

Does anyone else but me consider the name "The Great Recession" incredibly stupid? Like, if you've got kids, are you going to tell them that's what it was called? I think I'd just die of shame, especially considering our grandparents lived through the goddamn Great Depression. Now THAT sounds like a terrible thing to live through.

NUMBER 5: YOU'RE POOR

Continuing with our ongoing coverage of how you’re broke as a joke, we come to perhaps the best part about the Bushwick Rooftop Festival. Have I mentioned yet that admission to this incredible party is the very reasonable NOTHING? No? Maybe I should have mentioned that earlier, because SHIT IS FREE LIKE AIR SON. Where else can you possibly see eleven bands in a day and then dance all night to DJs for no money? Not at your damn house, I’ll tell you that much. You can show up to the Bushwick Rooftop Festival with no money in your wallet and you can have as good a time as anyone else there.

Just picture yourself there in your skinny jeans

Well OK, maybe not, because food and beer cost money, but they will be reasonably priced. This ain’t Get Raped By A Guy Screaming Along To Sevendust ’99. HAH! Callback!